


He Never Said It Out Loud

by Lumaria



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumaria/pseuds/Lumaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim doesn't assume, he knows… he always know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Never Said It Out Loud

He never says it out loud but Sebastian knew he was a burden. He has his skills, abilities that gave his some use, but not enough. Never enough. 

Maybe the idea came from the few memories he had of his parents. The soft look his mother gave, counter the angry expression that covered his fathers face, when he had broken a lamp in the parlor. That soft smile and eyebrows tucked slightly together, a look of pity, and the phrase ‘Its not your fault dear’ were the only memories he had of his mum. 

Maybe it came from his old Sargent; a coarse old man who would call me worthless, never give a word of praise until he had shot a target square in the center, and even then his words were ‘Good shot Moran. Now do the same thing with the rest of your clip and I might give you a pat on the back.’ He always hated that bastard, even if he treated everyone else with the same cold cruelty. 

Or maybe Sebastian always knew. Perhaps the knowledge of his worthlessness had been engraved into his sport long before the military, before his parents, even before-

Jim. 

Did he know how Sebastian felt? Maybe he did. Maybe he agreed and never addressed it except in biting words and even harsher silence. 

"Stop it." Jim’s voice called him out of his stupor, and dark eyes rolled over his form standing in the door way of their room. "You said you were going to go clean your pistol yet you've been staring at it for the past ten minutes and I’m assuming thinking things. So stop it."

Sebastian quirked his eyebrow. Jim doesn't assume, he knows… he always know. He must know what Sebastian was thinking. 

"Why did you chose me?" He asked softly. "Out of all the people who could do this job, why me?"

Jim sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, an action Seb had missed as his eyes had returned to his gun. His sight stayed focused, even when he felt a shift beside him and Jim’s shoulder gently bump against his. 

"I picked you because I did, because I wanted you. That’s all you need to know about it." There was warm breath against his neck, followed by a press of lips and a hand covering his own.   
"Suicide is for cowards, not for Tigers."


End file.
